she ran to God

it's time for another "ami quote." and this one is important. my mom said this to me many times as i came to her in tears or in loneliness or in stress. half the time it would frustrate me, because i just wanted to vent, or a physical voice, but she persisted. she would say, all the time:

run to God

she always encouraged me to pour my heart out to my savior and allow him to bear my burdens. like i said, sometimes it was frustrating to get that from my mother. but most often, when i felt the need to cry out to my mom, i came to her with problems that she couldn't do anything about. they were issues of the heart and deep spiritual needs that only the Lord could fill. somehow, she knew that, and she encouraged me to go to directly to the source.

in hindsight, i now realize how amazing that actually was. 

mothers naturally want to feel needed and as though their kids want to talk to them. just as a woman, i feel this need. for my mom to basically say no to that naturally desire to comfort me and give me such truth is truly amazing to me. i admire her greatly for this. and it has undoubtedly shaped my relationship with God.


i would like to point out, though, that those three words would not have been at all effective if my mother didn't lock herself in her room to have her time with the Lord. and that's what she did. she would literally tell us not to interrupt her unless we were bleeding so she could have her precious time with God. she journaled, she cried out to God, and she poured over the word. her time in the word was her lifeline, and i never doubted that. 


she was an awesome example of what a real relationship with God looked like. i have so much to live up to and work on! 


a short while ago, dawn asked this question about my mom:
"wondering how your mom held such strong and unpopular convictions, yet managed to be so full of grace toward others who didn't share her convictions."


well, in short, i'm pretty sure this is why she was and is able to have such grace toward all women who come to her for advice. she runs to God first, and with His strength she is able to love without judgment. [she's certainly not perfect, but i know God uses her greatly in this way!]