Ah. It's good to be back. Although, I'm not making any promises that I'll be writing frequently or anything until July-life is a little crazy right now!
We are moving to Iowa City. It's actually happening. I've had this month planned for so long and I keep rehearsing it over and over that in my mind-this month is already over. Every single time I've looked at the date I keep thinking, It's only the 14th? It's weird.
It's dragging by, yet, there is so much to do. I think that may be way it's dragging by-because my days are so full, they last a little longer than normal.
I haven't been to Cornerstone in 4 weeks. We've been in Iowa City almost every weekend. I thought I'd be holding on tighter, but I seemed to have let it go pretty easily.
I'm sorry, I'm in an emotional writing mood, so this blog post already sounds a little emo. I get this way sometimes, when everything seems a little darker than it is or should seem. I don't know why I feel that way now, but I do. Maybe it's a side-effect of the moving process.
My mind is wandering. I have too much to write about. I'll write it all out sometime. Until then, I just want to share the most recent impact on my life:
We went to Walmart in Iowa City on Friday night to pick up a few gallons of paint and some supplies. It was around 10 at night, so we expected the normal quality of service of the employees who were working the crappy shift-at Walmart nonetheless.
A little background, I've been learning to slow down lately-especially when I'm shopping. I can get so focused on the most efficient routes and plan of action that I can be rude-either to Bryan if he's with me or to the employees helping me. It's been very, very good.
I don't know what it was, but I walked out of Walmart feeling so blessed I could cry-in fact, I am crying now (I told you I was in an emotional mood. It happens.). We had the most attentive guy mix our paint. From filling in the little swatch circle on the paint can precisely, to dotting the paint swatch and blow-drying it dry so that I could see that the paint matched the swatch color exactly. Yes, it took a considerable amount of time-but I was so put at rest knowing that my paint was the perfect pearl gray that I'd hoped for. He was so kind and patient and detail-oriented. I was blown away-I wish I would have caught his name.
We encountered another nice man who pointed us directly to the Raid Ant Killer Spray, with a smile and a laugh.
But the lady who checked us out-she is what is bringing me to tears right now. She was a true and absolute blessing. I'm almost positive her name was Caroline, but you can bet I'll be frequenting that Walmart more this summer just so I can be around her more. Wow.
My sinful nature tugged at me as we got into her check-out lane and I realized she was asking the man in front of considerate questions. She was taking a long time and he looked a little annoyed that she was keeping him by asking, "Are you sure I can't help you find anything else?" I wanted to get to work, and I hoped she would check us out a little faster then the man in front of us.
But no, she was just as kind and considerate to us, and my heart melted as I began to adore this sweet woman scanning my items. She asked us how we were doing tonight, and she looked into our faces for an answer, because she really wanted to know. She was efficient, but carefully scanned each items so that she could see if we had any other needs. She really did want to know if she could get anything else for us-she asked if we wanted to get batteries for the flashlight we got. Her exact words were, "I just don't want you to get all the way home and realize you don't have any batteries!" She meant every word.
By the time we had paid, and she was telling us to have a great night, my heart was a complete puddle. I told her, "You have been absolutely wonderful, thank you!" and she replied, with a cute excitement in her voice, "Well, you, you have been AWESOME!"
I couldn't stop talking about her all night. I think Bryan thought I was acting strange, but something about her selfless, servant-heart really made me think about how selfish I am most of the time. And by God's grace, Caroline was the perfect picture of what I had just read in my latest read, Lies Women Believe.
I'll end with this excerpt:
"How often have we heard someone say, "I've never liked myself," or "She just can't love herself."? According to Scripture, the Truth is that we do love ourselves-immensely. When Jesus tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves, the point is not that we need to learn to love ourselves so that we can love others. Jesus is saying we need to give others the attention and care we naturally give ourselves.
"We are constantly looking out for ourselves, deeply sensitive to our own feelings and needs, always conscious of how things and people affect us. The reason some of us get hurt so easily is not because we hate ourselves but because we love ourselves!
"The fact is, we do not hate ourselves, nor do we need to learn how to love ourselves. We need to love how to deny ourselves, so we can do that which does not come naturally-to truly love God and others.
"Our need is not to love ourselves more but to receive His incredible love for us and to accept His design and purpose for our lives."
-Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Lies Women Believe
Pages 70 & 71