maybe you've been reading this blog for the past couple weeks and thought to yourself, "why is this lady so cray-cray?" (that's the cool way of saying crazy, and i know that everyone who reads this blog is super cool.) or perhaps you've thought, "what's her problem and why does she cry so much?"
i completely understand. and i would like to explain myself. my friends have asked me (after i cried all over them), "what's wrong with you?!?!" many times, so i pretty much have the answer down-pat.
what's wrong with me? everything.
or, in short, a trifecta of huge things.
i love my job so much, and i love being great at it. but right now, that means working really hard, stressing myself out so much, and overextending every part of myself. i'm totally cool with it, but i may or may not have had a few breakdowns in front of the entire staff team about it. whatevs.
#2. the impending 76 days without my husband.
i'm really trying not to think about it. but bryan and i have been having so much fun together lately. we're growing together, laughing together, making fun of each other. our relationship has never been better and that usually makes me think about how much i'm going to miss him this summer. and from what i've heard, this is the worst part, the waiting and anticipation. i really think i'll be fine when he's gone, but i can't keep my mind off the fact that he's going to be gone.
#3. the job hunt and possible move across the country
this isn't something i've blogged about yet, so for those of you who don't know, we're strongly considering moving to seattle, wa after bryan graduates and gets back from east asia. crazy, huh?! maybe it's the coffee on an empty stomach, but i'm jittery just thinking about it. the biggest stress about this is that we may not even know until august that we're moving. in august. the thought of deciding to move and moving all in the same month is really overwhelming to me. we could totally decide to stay too, but this is the biggest decision we've ever had to make in our marriage together, and the future is completely grey right now.
so there you have it, i'm extremely stressed out because my mind is always on one of those three things right now. if i'm not thinking about everything that needs to be done for work, i'm thinking about everything that i want to be doing to prepare for a possible move across the country, or i'm thinking about how i'm going to be completely alone this summer, or i'm thinking about how i don't actually know anything that is to happen in the next 6 months of my life.
so i beg you for prayer. please, please, please pray for us. we desperately want God to share His vision with us in all of this. we want to see our future through His eyes, and make each decision in light of that. God has already been good to unite bryan and i all the more throughout all of this. pray that we would continue to glorify God with our marriage and in our ministry. and if you want to add more to your prayers for us, please prayer that my mind doesn't explode with anxiety or stress, because there are days when i've come close to brain explosion.