can i just say?

Let's talk about the fact that my husband is leaving me for what is officially 76 days. SEVENTY SIX DAYS PEOPLE!

I keep telling people that I haven't really freaked out about it yet. Which is true, I haven't had a meltdown. But I think the real truth is that I am just generally on the verge of tears at all times but I haven't exploded yet so it doesn't really count. How's that for stable?

I could just completely throw a fit the day before he leaves for East Asia like normal people, but instead I'm slowly but surely wasting away my sanity over these next few months before he leaves. Although I've only been thinking about the reality of Bryan being gone for 76 days for about 6 weeks, I'm pretty sure this weird, elongated, insane meltdown process of mine will have many different phases.

Right now, I'm in the extremely selfish phase. Here are real-life quotes from my head:

Bryan won't be able to send me a birthday present from across the world, and he's going to be gone on my birthday, so that sucks.

Hey, Bryan, why don't you just leave for East Asia TWO DAYS before our anniversary?! That way you miss our anniversary and my birthday, that's real cool. 




Aren't you glad you aren't married to me? I'm horrible.

It is as if I keep forgetting that Bryan is giving up his entire summer to share the gospel with the lost and love on extremely undervalued orphans...I tend to forget these things in the height of my selfishness.

But even though I'm horrible and selfish, I'm still going to expect ALL OF YOU to put up with me when I explode in tears and can't stop. Especially you, Kaylee.