aspirations and other things

this morning i got out of bed at 5:30am. that hasn't happened for a long while. it didn't even happen when i was working outside of the home. it certainly hasn't happened since my office became my laptop.

why can't every morning be like this? i'm sipping hot chocolate, listing to the Film Score Pandora Station, and writing. I'll probably pick up my knitting needles later this morning before church, but that's hours away.

but seriously, i would love if this morning was a reality in my life. oh discipline, why are you beyond me? someday, i will catch you.

have you ever noticed that we tend to make all these wonderful, perfect plans in our heads about our lives, be it day-to-day schedules, or life-long plans, that never seem to be as important, when caught in the moment you haven't yet brushed your teeth for the day?

i notice that a lot. i had a plan. i wrote it down! it was all there, what happened to the day? why do i still have my pajamas on?

somehow, by God's grace, no doubt, i still manage to accomplish everything. i still work my three jobs. i still make dinner, or at least, eat something. i still spend time with Bryan. i still get all my ministry stuff done. i still sew and knit and write.

but, at least for me, i'm always stuck on the fact that it could all be more efficient; i could do so much more than i'm currently doing, you know?

i suppose that's my lot in life, though, being who i am and being gifted with the personality i have. but i can dream, right? i have aspirations, you know.

i want to write. and i want people to read my words. a lot of people.

i want to make things that people enjoy and want to show off. i maybe even want to make a side-income making things.

i want to counsel people on budgeting. i want to help people my age get a grasp on simple things like paying their rent. i want to help money make sense to my generation.

i want to go to college. (your mom goes to college)

i want to take some classes and learn how to do things. like prepare taxes. and quilt. and write (better).

i want to write children's books, and finance curriculum, and screenplays.

and i really, really want to ride in a hot air balloon.

i'm already feeling overwhelmed by my plans for myself. but i'm not taking a single thing off my list. my dreams may change, and there is nothing wrong with that, it doesn't mean i'm giving up (i say this more to myself, than you). right now, i want to have these goals. i like hard work, challenging myself, and accomplishing impossible things.

and there you have. aspirations and other things. (see how i cleverly worked in the title, there?)