People have been asking us lately, “How was the first year?”
As I’ve been answering that question, and thinking about the answer to that question, I began to consider what everyone told us about what the first year of marriage was sure to be like. You see, many, many people in our lives whether friends, family, or complete strangers made sure we knew what to expect as newlyweds. And while I’m thankful to those friends, family members and strangers who gave their opinions, advice and warnings, I must say, we were generally misinformed.
We were told that this first year was going to be hard. We were told that this first year was the “honeymoon” phase, and that we were unlikely to find anything wrong with each other. We were told that we would find ourselves in conflicts with our in-laws. We were told that this would be the best year of our marriage. We were told that this would be the worst year of our marriage. We were told we would fight about money, sex, and/or family. Etc.
I can’t say our first year of marriage matched any of those descriptions, but I also can’t say that our first year of marriage matched none of those descriptions. I suppose that’s the problem with blanket statements. Although, those advice-givers who had been married 30 or 40 years, I can see how to them, the entire first year could be blanketed with one such statement.
But Bryan and I haven’t been married for 30 or 40 years, we’ve just been married for one. And this one, wonderful, crazy, fun, whirlwind of a year ended yesterday.
I replied to one asker, “It feels like we’ve been married forever.” He laughed as he understood my words to be a negative thing. But I meant those words in the best way possible. I meant them to say, “I know our marriage has been short in the grand scheme of things, but it’s so…right that I feel as though it could have been forever.”
My best (girl)friend, Audrey, has told me several times that she admires the companionship Bryan and I share. That is a great compliment! Yet, I couldn’t agree more. We truly are best friends. We can’t stand to be apart and he still calls me every day (which started about nine months before we started dating). More recently, I’ve discovered that I absolutely despise going out in public without him. Thus, I’ve discovered the meaning of the phrase, “my better half.”
I’m getting mushy already, that’s what this kind of love will do to you.
We have a deep kind of love for each other, and this love has manifested itself in many different ways over the past year:
- Telling Bryan how crazy he is for wanting 71,894,167 different types of cleaners so that every different surface in the house has its own special cleaner when we could just have ONE bottle of Shaklee H2 Multipurpose solution that cleans everything. That is love.
- Bryan sending me all sorts of texts that start with, “help me remember…” and me remembering almost everything. That is love.
- Organizing all of Bryan’s video games, computer games, movies, and records. That is love.
- Bryan allowing me to create, decorate, and rearrange our house whenever I darn well please even when he has no idea how it’s going to turn out. That is love.
- Bryan telling me, “you’re amazing!” when he sees the final product of the above noted creations, decorations, or rearranging adventures. That is love.
- Bryan telling me how crazy I am for thinking we don’t need a toilet brush. That is love.
- Working hard to stick to our budget and save a ton of money so that Bryan can graduate college without school loans. That is love
- .Bryan doing the dishes. That is love.Bryan cleaning the bathroom. That is love.
- Researching cleaning products, recipes, coupon methods, natural remedies and countless other things in order to care for my family in the best way I possibly can. That is love.
- Bryan telling me I’m beautiful, that he likes my outfit and/or that I look cute. That is love.
- Deciding to leave everything I’ve ever known as home and move to Iowa City with my husband who also decided to leave his home. That is love.
- Making Broccoli Braid every week for about two months because Bryan can’t get enough. That is love.
- Ceasing to make Broccoli Braid for about 4 months because Bryan’s had enough. That is love.
- Encouraging each other to stay in the word, stay pure-minded, stay joyful, stay humble. That is love.
- Fighting because I want Bryan to be the best husband ever. Making up because Bryan is the best husband ever. That is love.
What more do I need to say? We love this marriage thing. We think we’ll do it forever.
Now that this year has come to end, as has this post, I’d like to let you know that my monthly marriage updates will also end. Nobody likes those people who say their kid is 39 months, and I don’t want to be disliked for saying my marriage is 14 months, 17 months, 21 months, etc.
Now, I’m off to celebrate my anniversary by eating our year-old-frozen-now-thawed cake topper and watching the season and series finale of LOST. Happy May 23rd!
Click any of the pictures to see a facebook album of all of our favorite wedding pictures taken by Mandy Bee Photography.